Negativity Grows Negativity

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It’s the beginning of my last semester at Howard and everything crumbles in front of me. Overwhelmed with worry, I fell ill and didn’t start my semester off right. Here’s the journal entry I wrote during this rough time.

I get it.

I know I bought it onto myself.

The first few incidents like my laptop and camera not working, the schedule conflict of my semester wasn’t my fault.

But it started there.

Soon after, it was the uncomfortable first day at my internship. The money needed to replace and repair my equipment.

The fact my classes needed more money from me that I don’t have. Followed by the realization that my semester would be jam packed and with little room for recovery.

The overwhelming fear and negativity spewed from there and into the first week of school. Which got me discombobulated, overwhelmed and missing deadlines and class times all over the place.

I might have not started it.

But I damn sure continued it.

Stressed out and anxious. I’m wondering if it’s too late to recover.

How can it be too late if things just started?

It’s never too late to change.

I can be positive and the universe can shift life in my favor.That’s if I want it to.

Today is the new moon. As well as the beginning of mercury retrograde.

The mercury retrograde is something that many fear, including myself.

But I read this article today and the author ask us not to fear the retrograde. There is too much fear in the world.

Which leads me back to the new moon. I follow the hood witch on Instagram and she talked about this new moon on how instead of creating new visions let’s banish the things that do not serve us.

When she proposed this idea, I was so happy because I wanted to celebrate mama moon but I really didn’t know what I wanted this lunar season.

But I know what I don’t want.

Fear.

Procrastination.

Giving Up On Myself.

No Self-Discipline.

Negativity.

-Written January 20, 2015

A few weeks after creating this post, everything worked itself out and I actually got what I manifested. I got the camera I always wanted as well as my laptop fixed as if it’s brand new. This lesson taught me not only about positivity but having faith in the creator. 

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